Ghettolicious: Carnitas

So yeah I like food. The wife too. In fact when I met the Mrs one of the first things that sparked my interest (besides the fact she drank her coffee black) was the fact that she took me to get burritos at one of the only decent mexican places in all of northern california or as I used to call it, Southern Oregon. Ok so I've warmed up a tiny bit to tha 510 but before finding all the places to eat near Fruitvale I always thought this place was utterly hopeless when it came to mexican food. Sure sure other foods yeah NoCAL has it covered. Foodie heaven. French Laundry, Chinese laundry, Blvd, oliveto, MMina, ame, chez pan., jardiniere, gary danko in 2003, secret restaurants blah blah blah all really good and yes we're really spoiled by the great restaurants here. In fact our home is strategically located either 30 min to the city or 30 min to Napa. This is called good. And for you NY kids lets not even get started ok? Seriously don't even start. Stop it. Stop right now. zip it. Its a futile argument. It's like middle east politics. It's hard finding middle ground. So anyway before the kid we spent stupid money eating out, because hell it's important. But after the kid...man thats a different story. So now we need some ghetto versions of stuff we like. Some things work out better than others. My ghetto version of Cassoulet ended up being neither simple, fast nor easy (but delicious damnit). And my homemade foi gras violated some kind of farming ordinance. Whatever. Anyways here's something that actually worked out and is easy and super ghetto like I like it.

ghetto/we're-parents-with-neither-time-nor-nanny-tonight Carnitas

get some pork country ribs and cube them.
get a can of tecate (no substitutions)
get a tiny bit of orange peel
get some salt
get a slow-cooker
get a time machine

Ok set the time machine for negative 4-8 hours or so and then go back in time.
put all the stuff together put it on slow and let it sit for however long you like as long as its like 4+ hours. Oh yeah, use enough tecate to kind of wet everything down but dont drown it. You can substitute the tecate for a tub of authentic LARD instead for some old school results but if you love your kids maybe skip the lard. Well then again we are talking about carnitas right? Skipping the lard really aint gonna help much right? Thats like holding the peanuts on your chocolate fudge sunday. Ok back to the recipe.
go forward in time like 4-8 hours or so

Ok heres the hard part (you can skip this if you're really hungry).
When it's done slow cooking, throw the whole thing in a saute pan on medium to highish heat and let the pork crisp up in its own rendered fat until crunchy golden brown. Don't fry it now, you are just bringing the temp up until the pork crisps.

then eat it.

Mmmmmmm ghettolicious. You can thank me later.