Kids, No Chaser

Parkway Theater Baby Brigade Bliss

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 posted by Henri

The most frequent question you get being a new dad is: Whats it like being a new Dad? And you answer it a million times. Life will never be the same blah blah, you don't know what love truly is until you see your first kid blah blah, no sleep blah blah blah. But really really hammers home the difference of being a new Dad to me was how sappy I've gotten. (continued) Having a kid changed my life in two fundamental ways. Logistics: More complicated. Goals: Less complicated. I mean on the logistic side there's daycare, healthcare, eating, pooping, vacationing, lots of complications. But the whole meaning of life thing? Thats gotten a lot easier: raise my kid. I mean that Condo in New York and the vacation house in Napa...who cares. The Arnage...who cares. The material stuff I thought it would be great to have is really silly now. And things that seemed high stress before seems silly too. Workplace stress? Bussiness stress? All out the window. My kid is fed, healthy and happy, all is good in this world. A wise man once said that what is good in life is to crush one's enemies, have them driven before you and listen to the lamentations of their women. This is a very very good saying. And Conan truly has been a real role-model for me growing up. But now? I'll tell you what is bliss. Anyone living in Northern California who has a new Kid needs to get their butt to the Parkway Theater in Oakland for the Baby Brigade. It's a movie theater with couches, good food, beer and a day where kids under 1 year are all invited. SO Im sitting in the theater with my wife and my kid and there is a number on my table. The movie Cinderella Man (which is NOT a remake of Cinderfella, I repeat NOT a remake of Cinderfella) is playing. I havent been to the movies since the kid was born and I really like movies (like Conan). Im sitting there getting ready to watch a movie and I'm thinking who would have known that the simple act of watching a movie could be so great. I mean once you have a kid the logistics involved of seeing a movie are very very complicated. So Im here at the theater with my kid, it doesnt get any better. Wait...wait one damn minute...did I mention the beer in my hand? There is a Pint of Sierra Nevada in my right hand. Oh yeah that came from the food/bar place where I was able to ORDER A BEER AT THE MOVIES. I am drinking beer with my wife and my kid at the movies, well I'm drinking, the wife and kid are on the wagon. Drinking beer in strange places makes beer really good. In Classrooms for example, beer tastes great during O-chem. Or during the lunch break at the MCAT. In a voting booth. At Color me Mine...wherever, beer is good. So now it can't get better than this, Oh wait there is a man bringing me something. What is this? Let me make some room on the table. Oh yeah, buffalo wings thats what it is. It can be hard to go to a restaurant witha kid. And buffalo wings at home really aren't the same. In fact at home buffalo wings are like at home dentistry. Its 99 percent as good but the 1% really makes a difference. Ok so my right hand will not let go of the beer so Im eating buffalo wings with my left in a movie theater with my wife and my kid. You can see the simple truth, the enlightement, the Satori: This is all that is good in life. This is a moment of freaking Grace. Oh wait I forgot the Pizza. Yes my blog friends...Pizza came to my table to join my friend Beer and my little friends Buffalo Wings and buffalo wing bones. Oh and my friends celery and blue cheese. Now you might think, big deal, Pizza and Beer and Buffalo wings and your wife and your kid at a Movie theater so what? To that I say Shut up. Shut the hell up, you know nothing about what is good in life. Let me now continue. So this moment of grace with the pizza and beer and the buffalo wings and the beer can't get any better...until the movie begins. Now for any new Dad you have to see two movies. One is angela's ashes and the other is Cinderfella and then the other is Cinderella Man. Angela's Ashes teaches you one very important lesson in being a dad: Don't Drink the MOney! Cinderella Man teaches you that Fighting for you family is the most noble act a man can perform in life. And I don't mean pillaging style fighting like Conan in order to make more Babies with village women. I'm talking about Fighting the Jazz dude from Sex and the City in order to become somebody that your family can be proud of and bring home some money to buy food so your kid's dont die. THis my friends is what is good in life. This is simple Grace. Fighting that Dude from Sex and the City to feed your kids and not "drink the money" and eat pizza and buffalo wings and drink beer with some buffalo wings and another beer. And at the very end, while the credits are rolling I'm holding my kid and teaching him how to Jab at my chin with his tiny fists and I know, I truly know, all that is good in life.

Ok now'z I'm crying...what a sap I've become. I guess thats what bein a Dad will do. I'm glad Conan can't see me now.

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