Kids, No Chaser

Understanding Your Husband: BBQ

Monday, April 02, 2007 posted by Henri

I've heard that some wives have a few questions and/or misunderstandings about their husbands. Questions often arise around the subjects of asking directions, remote controls, going to the doctor, methane emissions, Monty Python, etc etc. Every now and then I get this funny look in my eye and my wife immediately lets out a groan...yeah that's right, it's time to fire up the smoker.

Yesterday, in celebration of the beginning of my month-long paternity leave (much much much more on this stunning revelation to come), I could think of nothing finer than spending the whole day manning my smoker. OK for all you wives out there that cannot understand the appeal of BBQ let me offer the following illustrated guide.

Step 1: Meat

Step 2: Fire

Step 2.5: Fire+Beer

Step 3: Tools

Step 4: Time.

Ok this deserves some attention...smoking or BBQing takes a lot longer than grilling. Not to say that grilling is bad because I love grilling...but kind of like going fishing has pretty much nothing to do with obtaining fish, BBQing is about way more than eating BBQ. They say the appreciation of music lies in paying attention to the space in between notes. BBQ is all about the space of time. The fastest thing you can smoke are ribs and that's a minimum of 4 hours. Four hours of tending a fire in order to keep your temperatures withing a narrow range. Hours of Man-Time fiddling with a fire, drinking beer, taking pictures of my feet, whistling, and most of all doing nothing. The chance to gather your thoughts and reflect on absolutely nothing is truly remarkable. In the end though it still ends up with glorious...

Step 5: Meat

So in summary, BBQ is about...


How could anyone possibly question its allure to all husbands and fathers around the world?

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Blogger honglien123 said...

As a wife and mother of two all I can say is...Dude, if my hubby were out there bbqing when I just popped out a baby, he might as well throw himself in the fire too. Your wife must be the sweetest thing on earth and that must be some really good bbq. (Although I have to admit that looks pretty good.)

2:48 AM

Blogger Henri said... know what? That's a really good point. I'm going to file that away for the next Understanding Your Husband: Yep I'm an Idiot. I think my wife was still in shock by the idea of me taking the month off...too shocked to kill me for smoking all day. Oh I have the remote temperature transmitter device that's shown in the picture which let me go inside now and then while updating me continuously about the temperature inside the smoker. Oh and BabyJ is still in that strange quiet mode which usually last about two weeks before they go ballistic.

8:56 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have a weber genesis silver B - her name is Genny. NO ONE touches Genny. i feel your pain/joy - but here in Texas, is not just barbeque, it's a lifestyle . . .

*glad to see it was corona light, too. :-)

11:14 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next time you do this make sure you invite us over. We love beer and ribs.

If it makes you feel any better, we bought my husband a big smoker for his first father day. My twins were about 5 weeks old.

8:30 PM

Blogger themikestand said...

Hey, at least you didn't liveblog the smoking event.

And when I think of guys out smoking their meat (stop.), I don't picture them drinking corona. And trust me, I used to sell smokers for a living, so I think I know the clientele.

So hat tip to you.

11:01 AM

Blogger Henri said...

Not trying to be funny, but when I smoke my meat...I actually do crave specific types of beer. This day I was drinking Corona because it is what I had in the fridge but...the following is my preferred list of smoking my meat beer. Of course these all have to be in the can.

1) PBR
2) Milwaukee's Beast
3) Coor's Light
4) Rolling Rock (Ok this one in a bottle)

Of course the list of beer I actually drink while EATING bbq is completely different.

1) Pacifico
2) Corona
2) Tecate

12:55 PM


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