Kids, No Chaser

Miss U Musu

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 posted by Henri


Hey our cat might die. Just like that. Fast. I remember being a kid watching Bladerunner and listening to Rutger Hauer say those words that would influence all of my crazy angst ridden teenage years..."the candle that burns twice as bright, burns for only half as long". I thought freakin-A yes! I want to burn half-ass long err half as long. The whole live fast die young and leave a good looking corpse thing is really powerful to an impressionable youngster. Oddly enough all my pets growing up must have also had that in mind because like the drummer from Spinal Tap, they all met with strangely mysterious ends.

Pet#/Name/Untimely end/Years Lived
1. Puma the Cat, Eaten by neighbors dog, 1 year
2. Gizmo the Cat, Vanished, 1 year
3. Cujo the Cocker Spaniel, reportedly followed a jogger and never came back, 1 year
4. Cup the cat, motorcycle accident, 1 yearish
5. Di the Dog, heroin overdose, 2 years
6. Butkis the cat, cat leukemia, 3 years
7. Cammy the Dog, using cell phone at gas station, 3 years.

Ok ok I made a few of those up. So coming back from vacation one thing that really sucked was that our cat got an infection while we were gone. She stopped eating and drinking and by the time we took her to the vet she had full-on kidney failure. They kept her overnight on an IV and she's on antibiotics. We have been giving her subcutaneous saline BID and antibiotic injections and force feeding her a few days now. Kidneys are miraculously better. Vet bill is ridiculously high, I'm changing her name to Flatscreen.

So we love our little Flatscreen (born Musuo Musu Musubi) and if she doesn't make it at least the kid's too young to be really hurt. It's funny though, up until now the Conman never really paid too much attention to the cat. He played with the robot vacuum more than the cat. When she was overnight at the vet though he kept asking for Kitty.

So here's some highlights from the rockstar life of our rockstar cat...the infamous people hating wildcat whose name literally means in mixed Korean and Japanese: Scary Turnip Riceball.

Pick a Cat any Cat: So when me and the better half first started dating she decided she wanted a cat. I'm like cool I like cats and I'll show her how cool I am by going with her and picking one out at the pound. Then later when she dumps me she can look at that cute cat and think hey I miss Henri and come crawling back or let me come crawling back or something. So we wanted a boy cat and we got to play with these two brother cats in the play room at the pound. One of the cats was totally mellow. Just kind of kicking it checking us out, wassup rockers I am a little kitten and I am cool and too busy to entertain you so I will walk around slowly and smell this thing here and then lay down and be one with the universe. This cat I liked. This was a cat after my own heart. Laid back, tranquilo, very cool. Now the brother, this other cat in the room was different. Keep in mind they were little kittens only a few weeks old. Well there was this birdcage in the playroom with a bird in it. This cage was on legs and about four feet high. So this other kitten is racing all around the room like a freaking madman. He looks up and sees the birdcage and from the other end of the room takes this racing start and leaps into the air and crashes into the side of the cage...and hangs on. This little kitten leaped like four feet and is clinging to the side of this birdcage. Hello little bird, although I am a small kitten I just wanted you to know that I am here and soon, very soon, I will figure out how to get through these bars and you will be mine. My current wife who was at the time this funny chick I had just started dating, turns to me and says..."Oh my god its totally obvious which cat we're getting." I'm like...yeah obviously. And then she points to the wrong cat. She want the crazy insane kitten clutching desperately to the side of the birdcage trying to continue its conversation with the bird. I'm like..uh WTF I want the tranquilo laid back stoner cat...the OTHER one. Not the insane one. Oh well...technically it was her cat we were picking out so cool whatever. Oh and right after we selected which cat we wanted the people at the pound said...oh yeah by the way that's a girl cat not a boy. Damn we got swindled.

I Hate People: So for the first few years our cat was normal. Got along well with others and although a little hyper, was overall sweet. Then somewhere along the way she got this strange idea in her head that people sucked and only me and my wife were cool enough to not get bitten or maimed. It had something to do with these parties we threw in Grad school that might have gotten a little out of hand...ok maybe a lottle out of hand. Hehe lottle. That’s a cool word. I just made that up. Anyways so I guess one too many people tried to mess with our cat and she just wrote off humans as teh suxxor. From that moment on we had to warn people to not try and pet her, and yes some people ignored us and yes some people got bit.

Cool Tricks: Our cat knows how to play fetch with a rubber ball and she also uses a human toilet. Cool.

Hello Baby: We were kind of worried the cat would freak out with the new baby, but when the Conman was born she actually just ignored him. She's now cool with him and has allowed him into her circle of trust.

So our poor little wildcat is now just a bag o bones. Super skinny and getting kind of stinky. We're hoping she turns the corner and starts down that road to recovery. We're just waiting for her to start eating again. That would be an encouraging sign. She's made it pretty far though for a pet of mine. Pushing 8 years now without a single freak pet accident or tragedy until getting her infection and suffering kidney failure. Not too bad. Here's to you Musu, you're one bad-ass cat.

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