Birthing Olympics, anyone?

Since this blog is supposed to be about our kids, I'm clearly overdue with J's crazy birth story. But J herself was not destined to be overdue, or even due for that matter. Once I hit the two week mark I started seriously regretting having committed to working up to my due date. What was I thinking? A good friend had done it, saying her pregnancies had been pretty comfy. Hmm, well, the last one was pretty comfy so how bad could it be? Tuesday morning I woke up feeling awful. I could hear Concon getting up in the night which kept me up wishing he'd get himself back to sleep. Tuesdays mean early wake up too since I have to pick up the resident, drop her off in front of the school to pick up the van, drive back up to stadium parking to park my car with her carpool permits, wait for her to drive back to pick me up, then schlep down to Fremont. (Okay so I'm whining) I felt grisly and my back was hurting. This should have been the first sign. So we get down to Fremont, uneventful, day was fine aside for this lady who pleaded with me to make her daughter's prescription weaker. I hate that! There's people that think that will make their eyes somehow improve or not get worse and it drives me nuts. Always the mild mannered one, but I held my ground on that one. She relented. My back still hurt. Lunch was a shower for me (in retrospect, I made it to 2 of 3 showers on my behalf this time, a repeat of last time) and soon enough we were driving home. Once I was back in my car, I called Henri.

5:12pm"My back hurts," I said, "but I don't think I'm in labor."
"You're crazy, that's what you said when you were in labor before. You better call the advice nurse."

5:15pm(calling Kaiser) "Hi, um (laughing) I have a dumb question but my back hurts but I don't think I'm in labor."
"Why are you laughing? Ok, well, you can take some Tylenol if you want or you could come in."

5:30pm Get to sitters. Pick up ConCon. Tell sitter about my day. Go home. Call M. Take Tylenol. Try hot pad.

5:45pm Back really hurts. Put on Thomas & Friends so I can think. Nothing like Sir Topham Hatt losing his hat to give me an opportunity to go to the bathroom. Some blood.

5:50pm Call M again. M says she'll be over in a few minutes with Afghanistan.

6:00pm M, Afghanistan and BabyH arrive. Afghanistan drives ConCon and H back to their place. M and I leave for Walnut Creek. Once in car, can feel contractions.

6:30pm Contractions, sometimes 5 min apart, sometimes more.

6:50pm Arrive at Hospital. Feel good. Henri there already.

7:00pm checked into triage. Say want natural birth. Then scared. Tell Henri to eat a mint. Henri can't find mints. I insist mints are in bag. Henri checks again, not in bag. Henri finds a preggie pop drop instead and claims search for mints is futile. Somehow I'm not appeased.

7:10pm Water breaks. Bad contraction starts. Leap off of triage bed and almost strangle Henri. Mint issue mostly forgotten.

7:20pm Walk to delivery room. Meet midwife (had met her before!) 1 or 2 (can't remember) more bad contractions. Jump off bed again and nearly close off Henri's airway. Remembering saying, "hurts!" Can't seem to convince self to get back on bed. Staff starts preparing for standing up delivery. Midwife says baby is at +3 station (wow!). Somehow I realize it'd be easier back on bed. Get back on. Ask if OK to push. Then push. Midwife says, "No, seriously, PUSH" (Henri really enjoyed that). Push again, and I hear that the head is out. Wow, so close already!

7:29pm A push or two more, and Baby J is born. Nurse I had called earlier came in later to say how funny it was how I'd called and wasn't sure whether to come in. J has dimples but not much in the Mongolian spot department. We admire her chubby arms while she gets the full medical review.

7:something OUCH! much more painful delivering placenta this time.

8:something, 10:something, etc etc etc OW! OW! OW! Freaking uterus shrinking pain MUCH worse.

So, we still didn't get to use the yoga ball. No time for baths, showers, ice chips, massage, dvds, ipod, books, popsicles, walking the hallway, and all those other things you think of in delivery. Just my husband's handy neck for pain relief and a sole prayer that we made it to the hospital in time.