Kids, No Chaser


Tuesday, August 14, 2007 posted by Henri


Ahhh Sunday. Sometimes when the wife isn't looking I'll slip in an extra day of work into the week. The best thing about 6 day work weeks is that that seventh day feels so damn good. It feels better than having two days off. It's kinda like working on a bullet stuck in your arm with a pair of pliers for a few hours and then finally popping that sucker out. Ahhhhh so nice. Such sweet relief. So like an Inuit family smiling at that SOL seal, we take apart Sundays with its best bits first. Yeah bright and early. Time for breakfast.

La Note in Berkeley is our usual choice and we met up with Fayedunaway and family. We've taken apart a few of these Sundays before and have learned the hard way some of the finer points of enjoying La Note on a Sunday morning with kids and babies.

Step #1: Get your ass up early enough to be at the door at 8:00. Ok we've averaged the morning rush window to be about 15-20 minutes wide to get into the first seating but do you really want to risk it? We've had the Grand Royale Fuster Cluck of Fayedunaway and Family, me and family and our buddy Afghanistan and Family all show up and miss the first seating one morning. That was a total of three two year olds and three infants along with six parents waiting 40 minutes to get a seat. By the time we finally sat down the kids were seriously bananas. Never again, get your ass there at 8:00.

Step #2: Stop staring at that one waitress that looks like Drew Barrymore because you're not slick and your wife knows karate.

Step #3: Before your butt hits the chair order a croissant and a coffee cake. Don't ask questions just do it.

Step #4: Right when the kids first start flipping out thank the kind waitress for bringing the croissant and coffee cake (DO NOT SMILE AT HER FOR "TOO" LONG WHATEVER THAT MEANS)

Step #5: Parents eat coffee cake, kids eat croissant. Peruse menu as if you haven't memorized it 3 years ago.

Step #6: Always pick whatever has the funniest and hardest to pronounce French name. I recommend the OEUF à la COQUE or BRIOCHE PAIN PERDU.

Step #7: Order like you're Pepe Le Pew when Fifi le Barrymore comes back.

Step #8: Block 1st of many Karate Chops.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to make an effort to avoid observing young women--it's like staring at the sun. You know you shouldn't, but what's one peek? Gaaaah!chopchopchopchop.Actually, the evil eye is worse. I get tired of it. Now when hotness approaches I need to zip up my kids fly or whatever--avert the gaze. I am such roadkill...

10:57 AM

Blogger Henri said...


11:33 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ah-HA! i knew it, i knew it, I KNEW IT! married men still look at younger chicks no matter how hot their wives are . . . (insert sarcasm here). i don't give a poop about the waitress, i want my COFFEE!!! NOW!!!

i love me sunday morning meals (okay, sometimes/most times, it's brunch). what can i say, i've never been much of a morning person.

2:12 PM

Blogger Henri said...

My wife is as hot as the sun. That's why sometimes I have to avert my eyes towards the next closest non-hot-as-sun Drew Barrymore looking waitress at French Restaurant.

2:54 PM

Blogger honglien123 said...

:Sigh: Where's my Keanu look-a-like waiter? Oh yeah, he's the gay one. No fair.

3:46 PM

Blogger Henri said...

(raising hand) Here I am! Oh wait you said Keanu? I thought you said Shamu. Nevermind.

3:59 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're right, angie, because my wife IS hot. OK, used to be hot-er before two kids did irreparable damage, but still smokin'. and I don't have a wandering eye, either, it's just, when you see a nipple at eye level, either you look or you develop a nervous twitch and I'm all about avoiding physical ailments whenever possible.

4:00 PM


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