Kids, No Chaser

Like a Stent Lubed With Awesome

Friday, March 21, 2008 posted by Henri

So yeah I have a little problem. I play Team Fortress 2 like nonstop. Can't stop. It's too awesome. I'm seriously thinking of scrapping this blog and switching it over to a TF2 fansite. Yes I am retardeded. Anyway, I've always prided myself in being able to add things to my life without too much disruption. Work. Family. School. That kind of stuff. Each new thing just kind of streamlines everything else and stuff gets shuffled around and new efficiencies are found and soon Henri is running trouble-free with a new added feature.

Well I just hit the wall.

It's funny to hit the point of max capacity where if you want to add something to your life you have to delete something else.

So when I added TF2 to my repertoire stuff kinda fell out. Like blogging. It just fell out and hit the floor. And I stared at it while a Monty Python sounding voice in my head said "Oh fancy that" and I continued to happily play my video game.

Recently though, I realized much to my amazement that my life was actually starting to shift around this TF2 obsession and like some crazy game of existential tetris, things just started to fit a bit better. It's being absorbed and the rest of my life is slowly growing back around it. It's a mass. I'm like Akira.

So what my wife calls a childish video game addiction, I refer to as a quiet period of integration. I think my way sounds better. The time I spend playing this retarded video game is actually like a stent that's pushing stuff aside and making some room in my life where no previous room existed. One day I'll tire of this game and have instead an extra 2 hours of my day to fill with something else.


This somehow segue ways into the fact that my wife has taken up knitting. She goes out and knits one night a week. She's been doing this for weeks now but I only recently noticed because of... umm you know... my video game playing making me oblivious to my surroundings.

So since she knits with the other gals of the compound (no Mr. Comedian, she doesn't knit with Sancho), me and the dads of the compound have been trying to come up with a weekly event that we could partake in because, lets face it, when you are married and have kids you keep a really tight-ass tally of all the free time the other spouse gets to take. It's like pizza math. And we're tight as hell...running an errand without the kids is like the parenting world's version of making a Vegas run to hang with Cypress hill in 1992.

The dudes have ruled out playing video games because of something about being "enablers" whatever the hell that is.

I've been burnt out on bowling since the late 80's when everyone and their mother thought it was "cool" to do that stupid midnight rock-and-bowl crap that every bowling alley in the nation started to do.

Poker is out because that's hella 2005ish

The wives ruled out Project Dancer Cab much to our dismay (the business plan was airtight).

So far the only thing left is the brilliant idea to all take on part time jobs together.

Yeah, me and my dad bros all working at Starbucks Tuesday nights.

"This place smells like whisky"

Or maybe busboys so we could rock some hairnets. We'd fill out applications instead of submitting CVs and we'd get to yell "I quit" and really quit when we wanted to. I'd wear a fat Sandinista 'stache to at least confuse my patients when they bumped into me.

"That Sandinistan busboy looks oddly familiar"

Sweet. You know you work to much when your escapist plans involve taking on fun part time jobs.

Crap I miss my videogame. Bye.

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Blogger Brianna said...

I suspect one of the best things about being a "girl gamer" is never having to justify the many hours lost to video games...

12:00 PM

Blogger honglien123 said...

My hubby just spent two hours playing TF2 while I was in class and he was supposed to be putting the kids to bed. They went to bed at 11:30pm and it's a weekday and I've got meetings starting at 8:15am. All you video game playing dads best realize your addiction justifies EVERYTHING your wife does in retaliation. I'm buying tickets to Hawaii tomorrow.

2:50 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to see you and the fam today, my brother. Thanks for hosting. Now that the parties are over, it's time to return to your blog. While your last three posts officially count as blogging, I still interpret them as "Preludes to Blogging" or "Why I Am Not Quite Blogging Yet." I miss the blog, too.

4:44 PM

Blogger Henri said...

You fail to appreciate the literary value of the Sandanistan 'stache. I'm like Hemingway here.

9:12 PM

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