Kids, No Chaser

Sprinkle Some Fatherhood On It

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 posted by Henri


I don't like hoedowns. I don't like hay or tractors or square dancing. But you sprinkle a bit of Fatherhood on it and suddenly I find myself on a hayride. Seriously I was sitting on a Bale? I believe they call it a bale of Hay. On a tractor. Going really slow. I was passing scarecrows holding little joke signs such as the wildly witty: Where do mummies swim? In the dead sea. Seriously. Or take the other day. I was was at Color Me Mine (again) painting a plaque with my daughter's footprints on it. Seriously. Whisky has put me in a few hilarious situations, but Fatherhood has put me in a Color Me Mine. Fatherhood wins.

So the other day we went to a pumpkin patch. Not just any pumpkin patch but the 10th annual pumpkin patch festival at the Western Railway Museum. Conman + Life Sized Trains = Meaning of Life. My kid is still talking about it.

Constar: Big Train?
Me: Yeah we saw the big train many days ago.
Constar: Big train again?
Me: Next Year.
Constar: OK
(1 second goes by)
Constar: Big Train?

So it was really cool. We got to ride some old school trains that used to travel from the East Bay to San Francisco back in the day. They still had the original ads for $3 dinners inside. The ride was five miles long and ended at the Great Pumpkin Festival full of such wondrous items as


Actually the hay was pretty awesome. A big giant Aztec Hay pyramid with built in passages and tunnels for the kids to get completely freakin lost in and scare the crap out their Dads. Constar jumped in and I tried to follow but I'm fat and the tunnels are narrow. Somehow we reunited in time to eat awesome cheeseburgers, hot dogs and an obscenely ridiculous caramel apple that could feed a small Apacalypto tribe.

And I know that Fatherhood is studded with these sappy Hallmark moments and I know that I can not stop blogging about them and I realize that I am a one trick blogging pony, but these are the moments that move me. These are the moments I choose to remember. These are the moments that sweep away any purpose I thought I had before kids. I was sitting there on the hay bale, full of cheeseburgers, and I was sharing Conman's very first Caramel Apple and he was happy and covered in Hay and a man in a cowboy hat and electric guitar began a few chords of a song that I know far better than any man has any business knowing. Yes I'm taking about Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline. And good god almighty do I loves me some Neil Diamond.










My Family + Belly Full of Cheeseburgers + Enormous Caramel Apple + Neil Diamond =
everything I could ever need and all that I could think to ask for.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its true, It is good to be Dad

1:20 AM

Blogger Tse Fong said...

Wow, your slideshow/video/tribute totally made me teary eyed. Guess that's what happens with motherhood...

11:54 AM

Blogger Henri said...

Motherhood? No, that is 100% the power of Neil Diamond

2:09 PM

Blogger Unknown said...


I really enjoy your blog.

I was wondering if you had heard of

It's a great video podcast dealing with parenting issues in a really fun and informative way.

We need all the help we can get right?

You should check it out if you get a chance.

Keep up the great work!


4:23 PM

Blogger Unknown said...

Yeah man, the dad gig rocks.

11:27 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fun! ryry would've been all over that train ride too. tell cindy i like her haircut! :)

8:25 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great tribute to halloween and your family. Which train is that? my kid is a trainaholic and we've been to Niles Canyon and Tilden but I don't remember a passenger car like that one. Great pumpkin, BTW.

1:24 PM

Blogger Henri said...

Western Railway Museum
5848 State Highway 12
Suisun, CA 94585
(707) 374-2978

5:00 PM


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